Tales of Tinderland – Wine and Cheese

I’m worried, my match didn’t answer my last message.

Credit: https://unsplash.com/@shootervision

We met on Tinder. When we matched, there were some fireworks (maybe that’s just a feature of the application). I sent them a message right away:

  • ‘Hi’, I said. My grandma always said that any conversation must start with a greeting or a glass of wine, but we’re on Tinder, so the choice is limited.
  • ‘Hi’, they answered.

We were in for a strong start. I doubled the blinds and went with:

  • ‘How are you today?’
  • ‘Good, thank you. What about you?’ was their kind answer.
  • ‘Very good, since I matched with you!’ I texted right back. Some say it’s cheesy, but my grandma always said cheese and wine are the best lures to attract one of the many fish that are in the sea. She was French, she might be biased.

I decided to increase the tempo, and added one of my best lines:

I like to think I’m a helpful person. My grandma always said that if someone’s looking for something, one should help them find it, especially if it’s a Grand Cru from Château Mouton Rothschild. She was a bit of a drunk, that might explain.

Sometimes it doesn’t work, in that case, I always add:

  • ‘Do you need a match to start your fire?’. I find it pretty witty, full of innuendos, wink-wink and other double-entendre… My grandma always said that the best way to be funny is to pour some more wine to her glass.

I hope they’ll get back to me, I’m tired of drinking alone, I’m looking for someone on Tinder to share Grandma’s cave with.


Thanks to Zoe for the prompt! Check-out her great, always inspiring, blog.

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